Pain,Trust and Power August 30, 2011 23:54 Room 303 Airport Road Abu Dhabi UAE
I had (and somehow still feeling some trace of it) the worst pain today. In my nth year of existence, this is so far the most unbearable physical nuisance i had.
I know to myself that I am a strong person; that I have a stretchable tolerance on hurts and aches. I did several times, to divert to meaningful distractions and was successful in bouncing back whenever Im faced with sufferings, yet today I was on the brink of falling.
Today was my very first time to cry over physical pain. I wanted to be strong but the human me felt so helpless. I could not even eat, nor talk and smile. Tho my stomach was really making alot of attention, i opted to be insensitive of its plea for a better reason. Stomach pain is more tolerable than this pain, i assured myself. Poor stomach who had her last meal (milk and some oats and nuts) at 11 am today.
The pain is so sharp and excruciating that it paralyzes my whole day.
I was supposed to be at church today for the praise and worship recording but how could I when even the smalllest opening I could to to my mouth, stretches my jaw consequently touching my swollen gum and whew! P A I N results; a SEVERE one.
I tried alot of remedies. Afterall i thought that I could nurse myself. Yet every four hours Panadol was futile and for this I miss Mefenamic Acid from the Philippines. I tried to cushion my gums with cotton and even massaged it countless times but vain labor. I thought sleeping would also work but this pain even gave me trouble in starting a nap.
I surrender. I cannot solve this mess; not even my dentist who thinks that this is normal; part and parcel of having a fixed bridge. How can he say that this is normal if it feels so unusual for me? If it caused me my entire day.
Pity me. A single OFW who has no roommate and who is away from friends. I had to endure the pain alone.
But out of the gloomy situation i remembered Someone I know Who could make a difference. Someone Who makes all things possible as long as He wills. “Nothing is too hard for You Lord”, I whispered. (Jeremiah 32:17)
In my desperate move I prayed,
“Lord, please once again prove to me that You’re real in my life. Take away this pain Oh Lord.”
Not that i dont trust in Him.In fact TRUST is the only weapon and reason I have that keeps me going despite the adversities that challenge me.
Yet this time, i wanted to dare the Lord. I believe that even in the book of Malachi, He Himself invites us to test Him. (Milachi 3:10)
Besides, I had no other treatment in mind, but to seek comfort on His Word. I searched for the word “pain” in the subject index of my devotional Bible but could not find one. Healing was not the best word to capture what i wanted. I searched some more and found this instead.
God’s Power. It was the last antidote i had.
I quickly browsed on each devotional pages.
As always, the Word never disappointed me.
God is El Roi: The God Who sees and knows where i am and how i feel.
God is El Shaddai: The Lord God Almighty, the One Who can change my condition or Who could walk with me in this plight.
God is El Elyon: God Most High, Whose ways are higher than my ways.
God is Elohim: The Creator Who made me and even allowed things to happen to me for a purpose.
Absolutely, everything that happens to me good, bad or indifferent, God knows and cares about.
After my short meditation and prayer, the pain became more tolerable that it even permitted me to write on my experience. Slowly, I was able to move my jaw, open my mouth, utter words and make some grins.
It was more than magic. Miracle indeed.
The Lord even gave me additional blessings. Knowing that i have caring friends who are concern on me, made the pain more and more endurable.
Special thanks to my FB friend, relatives, and churchmates who were intrigued and asked me whys, to my GBC friends Aleth and Lau for reaching out and praying for me, to Ate Melanie’s touching FB message, Oteph’s “full-of-effort” delivery of Nesvita and colorful straws and Mac’s sacrificial early morning prayer over skype and morning call just to check if im totally alright.
All of these made me more courageous to try some more sips of warm Nesvita using a straw. This is so far the best gift I could do for now, to my starving tummy and extremely dry throat.